Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date by Katie Heaney

I’ve been enjoying memoirs about the lives of regular women for a while now and this one is no exception. Though it may seem a little out there for some, I know that I could easily have been in Heaney’s shoes.

Between her entertaining writing style and positive outlook, this is a fun memoir. Heaney shares this piece of life, something that many would find embarassing with all the positivity that it actually deserves. There’s no good reason for women to be in an especially big hurry to couple up these days and there’s definitely no reason to rush into relationships with people we aren’t interested in just to couple up. There is plenty of time for all that. Along with her positivity, I find Heaney’s feminism to be refreshing. I know I’m not the only woman my age to wish she’d had the insight into all the things that are stacked against us at a younger age.

The topic of this memoir might not be earth-shattering, but it’s an important one for women to talk about. I feel like this entire generation has a better handle on it than mine did and I have considerable hope for the future. I hope that being more selective about who we partner with in general, let alone for long periods, increases our chances of choosing better relationships. I know I would have been better off not just going out with someone because they asked and I didn’t have a good excuse not to.

I also found the discussion of virginity within the context of this book refreshing. Personally, I prefer to advocate sex education and the ability to make good choices over absolute abstinence before marriage. As a Christian, I know all the religious reasons, but not everyone is religious and I do find it ridiculous to expect this standard that was never real even when it was the only thing that was preached and before birth control and before safe deliveries. It’s nothing to get hung up on overcoming with a less than desirable partner but it’s also something to be careful of with a partner who is desirable. Heaney gets stuck on neither, just addressing it in terms of choice and her life.

I love her anecdotes about the different kinds of people you meet at college and the way her instincts suck. I’ve had such similar experiences with getting all the signals wrong that I truly sympathized and I think others do too. This is a fun memoir that I’d recommend to anyone graduating high school or college looking for a good memoir about that time in life, especially those of the more awkward variety like me and Heaney.

Save Never Have I Ever for later on Goodreads or buy now on Amazon!

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